At Some Point, You Really Should Stop Believin’

It’s amazing how you don’t see these incredibly bright, incredibly huge red flags until after the fact, but I used to date a guy, he worked at this wing place that did karaoke nights. One Halloween, he was working in costume as Fred Flintstone. I came in to visit dressed as Wilma. He was encouraged to perform, so he gets up on the makeshift stage and announces, “This one is for my girlfriend over there!” He points me out to the crowd and the proceeds to sing “Ramblin’ Man” by the Allman brothers. It’s kinda funny to think of Fred Flintstone singing Ramblin’ Man to Wilma, less amusing when it is your boyfriend singing to you. If that wasn’t bad enough, on another karaoke night, I came in with my parents. He takes the stage once again to dedicate a song to me. This time, the song is “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin. If you’re unsure of the horror of this situation, go ahead and revisit the lyrics and imagine someone singing that to you in front of your Led Zeppelin-loving dad.

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